Longtime director of Voices of Lee and part time spokesman for the university, Danny Murray, announced yesterday that he planned on returning a few souls to the acapella group. The everlasting souls, which are usually kept on a vial around Murray’s neck, will be returned as part of Friday’s commissioning service.
“I just though, hey, you know these seniors deserve something special,” said Murray on the recent change of heart. “I usually wait a couple of years to make sure they’re not coming back, and then we perform an exchange ritual, kid stiff really. But this time I just wanted to give these seniors something more, just in case they wanted to use it for something other than acapella singing in their prime.”
The souls, which are habitually signed away upon entry into the group, have been a part of Murray’s teaching style for years. Dean of the School of Music, Dr. Bill Green, has always been optimistic of Murray’s style.
“It may seem like witchy woo-woo kind of stuff, but he gets results,” said Dr. Green. “Those kids sign away their soul as collateral to the house of talent Danny is building right on top of their heads. It’s an amazing, surprisingly Keynesian, pedagogy, and I am in love with it.
Of course not everyone is all smiles when it comes to meddling with the eternal.
“This is the kind of mind body dualism that makes philosophy look like child’s play. I am all pissed now,” said professor of Philosophy Dr. Tim Miller. “How Danny Murray is able to extract the soul in the first place is beyond me seeing as how substance dualism died with Rene Descartes four centuries ago.”
Students in the group, however, were elated to discover the good news.
“I have felt like I’ve been in a dream for years and not like a bad or good dream, just a fuzzy one I can’t remember” said senior tenor Jason Reese. “It’s like I’ve been missing something that’s been going on all around me. I am happy for my time, don’t get me wrong. I mean I was on a reality show for goodness sakes, right? But I can’t help but feel just a twinge of regret when giving up everything to be on Voices, though that’s probably just the lack of soul talking. Besides Danny Murray is as, or maybe more, persuasive than Mephistopheles.”