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The Reveal

The Leek authors, Lyndsey Graves, John Griffis, Daniel Diffenderfer, and Richard Yeakley, sign off and explain why they did this experiment.

Elliot, Longfellow, Heller and Mane attempt to take a photo with the side-walk chalk advertisement.

To our dear, dear Lee friends – We must apologize, first of all, for our deception.

All four of us have become quite adept at looking into the eyes of our closest friends and telling flat-out lies. This has probably turned us into more horrible people, but we hope you’ll understand that we did it for The Leek.

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Cleveland to be renamed ‘cLEEveland’ following bidding war

St. Leek’s Episcopal Church.

Cleveland will be renamed cLEEveland, following a 6-2 vote of the city commissioners early Friday morning and days of intense bidding by wealthy donors. The announcement came as a surprise to no one, except Mayor Tom Rowland.

Mayor Rowland, who was unusually red-in-the-face, said tersely, “Cleveland is not for sale. First, Lee thinks it can just close Church Street and turn it into a pedestrian mall, and the next thing you know they’re renaming this whole city.”

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List Thursday: You know you’re a senior if…

1. You remember U-Church every Sunday

Superchick was once the biggest deal ever to hit campus. How far we have come.

2. You took classes in Buildings that don’t exist anymore

Its unfortunate that no one ever interrupts chapel speakers to shout about how superior the Beach Building was to Medlin.

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Danny Murray to return souls to Voices of Lee members

"No one with a soul would ever wear those outfits on TV"- Regina Barks, campus fashionista

Longtime director of Voices of Lee and part time spokesman for the university, Danny Murray, announced yesterday that he planned on returning a few souls to the acapella group. The everlasting souls, which are usually kept on a vial around Murray’s neck, will be returned as part of Friday’s commissioning service.

“I just though, hey, you know these seniors deserve something special,” said Murray on the recent change of heart. “I usually wait a couple of years to make sure they’re not coming back, and then we perform an exchange ritual, kid stiff really. But this time I just wanted to give these seniors something more, just in case they wanted to use it for something other than acapella singing in their prime.”

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Financial Aid, Business Office arrange face-to-face summit

The Office of Financial Aid and the Office of Student Financial Services have agreed to a rare face-to-face meeting in a preliminary effort to combine each office’s knowledge of the arcane and convoluted rules regarding students’ payments.

Jan Fields, director of the Office of Student Financial Services, called the meeting after a student was hospitalized for exhaustion after running between the two offices at least 39 times.

“We have to reconcile our differences before any more innocents are caught in the crossfire,” Fields said. “Also, this is their fault.” Continue reading

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Cook and Lamb kidnapped, tortured by being forced to sit still

Caution: the following article contains graphic content.  HAHA

Phil Cook and William Lamb who had been kidnapped for a full day, sprinted onto Lee University’s campus early morning Monday, April 30, 2012.

Tiffany Keys, a representative in the admissions office, was the first to notice that Phil Cook had gone missing, 13 hours after the two WOO’s were grabbed and thrown into a large white van by Southern Adventist University.

Every Lee Day, every frontline, most sporting events, Dorm Wars host, pursuing his PhD and campus tours are just some of the ways Cook keeps himself occupied.

“We just thought they were bopping around to every possible location on campus and talking to everyone like they always do,” Keys said.  “It was only after Phil missed the opportunity to talk to yet another local family visiting campus that I became worried.”

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