Monthly Archives: January 2012

Occupy Alumni: Hammock Students Protest Greed

Lee University students "occupy" Alumni Park.

The Occupy Wall Street grassroots movement has found a new home: Alumni Park. For the last three weeks, students have been setting up a shanty-town of ENO hammocks and blankets in the park as they protest the excesses of capitalism.

Dressed in khaki shorts, tye-dye shirts, and $90 Chaco sandals, these protesters are spearheaded by Daniel Brighton, a Lee Alum and Starbucks barista.

“You know, I just feel like. I mean, people are good, you know. And we need to love each other,” Brighton stated, as scents of the unshowered protesters wafted through the air.

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Students pose questions—not favors—at ‘Ask the President Chapel’; Surplus money will rent ‘bounce house’

The bounce house will be placed in front of the PCSU.

At the recent Ask the President chapel service, Lee University administrators were greeted with a pleasant surprise: Extra money. The surplus came as a result of no one asking for personal favors, gifts, dates, or bobble heads at the Ask the President chapel.
The trend began early on when Jose Rodriguez asked Dr. Conn the question, “How can Lee University professors use the Socratic method to foster critical thinking in the classroom?” The students sat spellbound as Dr. Conn spent the next 25 minutes discussing his personal educational philosophy.

In years past, students have used Ask the President chapel as a way to get favors and gifts from Dr. Conn. This year, the focus was more academic and substantive in nature. Continue reading

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Theta to build giant pyramid for 25th anniversary legacy project

What an aerial view of campus will look like following the completion of the legacy project.

After much planning and debate, the 25th anniversary legacy project for the Greek Club known as Theta (also pronounced “Oak”) has finally been announced. Though full plans are being kept hidden, an anonymous member of the service club (also pronounced “fraternity”) was able to give us a description.

“We plan on paving over the empty space in Alumni park and building a large pyramid,” the member said.

The pyramid will be approximately 482 feet high in order to surpass the height of the Great Pyramid at Giza.

“We decided that Theta deserved the recognition that Alpha Gamma Chi, Upsilon, and the Ancient Egyptians have been getting for years,” the member continued.

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Breaking: “Harris III to make Hughes Hall reappear for grand finale”

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An artistic rendering of what Old Hughes Hall will look like in front of the Science and Math Complex, as its cavemen residents build a fire in the front lawn.

A recent leak of the performance schedule of Harris III by one of his staff members indicates that the grand finale of his performance at U-Church will be to make Hughes Hall reappear. Reports indicate that the finale was decided by an undisclosed donation to the artist by a former Hughes alumnus.

The illusionist will be performing at the Lee University Conn Center Sunday night, Jan. 29, 2012.

Tracey Carlson, director of Residential Life and Housing, was not pleased as word of this final act made its to her desk. Continue reading

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College Republicans Endorse Coulter for President

Coulter says he "is pleased" by the endorsement.

The Lee University College Republicans have endorsed Dr. Chris Coulter, their faculty sponsor, as the Republican nominee for President, reflecting a growing dissatisfaction with Mitt Romney.

“I’m honored to receive the endorsement from such a diverse group of white, male political science students. I’m going to take this momentum into the Nevada primary, where I’ll be competing against the ‘establishment candidates’ as the truly conservative alternative to Mitt Romney,” Dr. Coulter said.

President Nathan Croft, a white, male political science student, said that the decision ultimately came down to a choice between Dr. Coulter and Dr. Gingrich, a former professor at West Georgia College.
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Paul Conn rushed to panic room during ‘Ask the President Chapel’ riot

During the recent Ask the President chapel, a noteworthy exception to the everyday excitement of chapel where President Conn addresses the questions and needs of students, an altercation between Conn and students quickly escalated into bedlam.

“It was all so quick, but we all were worried for the safety of those involved,” Patrick Young, a second semester Medlin resident, said shortly after the event.

Through piecing together eyewitness accounts and grainy chapel footage of the Lee University live stream on i-tunes, it appears that there was a riot toward the end of the chapel after Dr. Conn repeatedly replied “No!!!!” to seven student requests in a row.

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