Male students swear off women after hearing news of Singerman’s engagement

As word that the total package, flag-football ninja, extremely photogenic, always fashionable, rose among the thorns Jill Singerman had agreed to give herself for life to another man, male students across campus swore off women for a time of mourning.

Many Lee men will need counseling, as this smile was not given to them on their knee.

Senior Student Leadership Council member Neil Mitchell, who served under Singerman when she served as chair of the SLC, gathered together his fellow men in Brinsfield Row, many of whom he had never met, to form a makeshift support group.

Older male students are going through the grieving process in a natural way, Mitchell said.

“We have seen some still in denial.  Others, in stage two of pain, are curled in the fetal position crying.  Still others have already progressed to stage three, anger, and are playing darts with a photo of Derek Welborn [Singerman’s fiance].  We don’t expect much more progress for a while,” Mitchell said.

Local pawn shops, such as this one, have experienced long lines as men sell off the rings they purchased but will now never use.

Singerman, who is commonly known around campus for her position with the Leonard Center and for her hand imitation of water guns, addressed Lee’s males in her consistently classy manner.

“We all knew this had to happen sometime.  And besides, Derek is a great guy,” Singerman said. “But I will never forget the love and admiration you have showed me.  I will cherish you always.”

Although Welborn could not be reached for comment, Singerman offered kind words about her future husband to the Leek.

“He is sweet, funny, talented, and going places,” Singerman said. “And if that wasn’t enough, at least my last name won’t be Raper!”

Congratulations Jill and Derek.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Male students swear off women after hearing news of Singerman’s engagement

  1. Martha Lucas

    Too cute. She is marrying into a wonderful family. God Bless!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s