Lee football team to be composed of rugby girls

Due to the  rumors circulating about Lee’s future in football, Athletic Director Larry Carpenter announced that the first generation of the possible team would be composed completely by women from Lee Women’s Rugby Football Club.

The (Lady) Flames football team plans on using their skills of lineout lifting to perform spectacular red zone plays.

In the statement, released early Tuesday morning April 24, Carpenter praised the skill and tenacity of these students.

“These girls are incredible.  I have long been trying to get them recognized on campus with hefty scholarships.  This might be just the straw needed to get these girls really known on campus,” Carpenter said.

Team president Rachel Giammarella heartily seconded Carpenter’s praise.

“We are tired of crushing teams into non-existence.  Frankly, our skills have plateaued because we are just that awesome,” Giammarella said.

When asked about the dangers of playing football with NCAA men, Giammarella shrugged off any concern.

“They can’t be meaner than MTSU,” Giammarella said.

Skeptics however believe that the athletics department has more self-interested reasons to recruit this squad of Wonderwomen.

Kyle Hudson, a member of the Lee Rugby Football Club, believes that finances will play a major factor in the athletic department’s decision.

Strengths of the team: Rushing, laterals, offensive and defensive lines and tackling. Weaknesses of the team: Field goals, passing and huddles

“If we get football, and that’s still an if, these girls are cheap,”  Hudson said.  “You could pay them six bucks a game and it would be better than they are doing with rugby. ”

He does however believe that the transition could be for the best.

“Hitting people is hitting people. Besides, I think the team would like a break.  Breanne would love full pads and only having to play offense,” Hudson said.

The team was unavailable for interview at the time of publication; however, one anonymous member contacted the Leek and indicated that if events transpired the team would miss having a hooker.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Lee football team to be composed of rugby girls

  1. Anonymous

    This is funny but considering being on the rugby team I do take some offense to this and I know this is only out of humor though.

  2. Anonymous

    Why would you take offense to this?! They are praising you for your intense skills and consistent wins! If anything you all should be honored!

  3. Precious

    Fantastic article. I think DW wrote this. Fess up!

  4. Yeah, fellow rugger here, and whoever was offended by this is crazy. It’s all positive. Sorry about touchy people Leek, keep it coming!

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