Reasons Paul Conn will be president for the next 10 years

1. Free access to campus gym

Eating fresh isn't enough to keep Dr. Conn trim.

2. Rich Devos is still alive

Paul Conn to inherit large scissors and ribbon if he is still president.


3. Lee doesn’t own all of downtown Cleveland–yet

Craigmiles Hall to be renamed Devos Hall.


4. He’s waiting for a spot to open up in North Cleveland Towers

That rocking chair has been occupied since 1995.

5. Hammond isn’t ready to become president

The boy scouts mistakenly recruited Hammond last month.

6. His grandchildren haven’t attended Lee yet

Dr. Conn lecturing his white-clad grandchildren at Easter.

7. Sodexo food better than Darlia’s

Darlia is still in training at the international station.

8. He can’t retire until he appears to be 45 years old

Dr. Conn and family from recent photograph.

9. His closet is still full of Paul Conn bobble head dolls

At the current rate, Dr. Conn must distribute his stash at Ask the President Chapel for the next 11.7 years.

10. He still hasn’t lived up to dad’s expectations

"You're going to turn Lee University into the next Notre Dame!" - Charles W. Conn

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1 Comment

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One response to “Reasons Paul Conn will be president for the next 10 years

  1. jonathan stone

    Last one is sad. We visited him on our Deek Day adventure…Charles Conn and the lady who claimed to be from Chicago. Still don’t know if she meant the city, or if she was a stand in for the hit movie.

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