During yesterday’s regular Dixon center chapel, a miracle of the lord caused a hubbub the likes of which this campus may never see again. It started with distinguished Lee professor and level twelve theologian, Dr. Don Bowdle, giving his usual chapel presentation, and ended with him ascending into the presence of the lord on what many describe as a fiery chariot.
“It was amazing. I love when things go down Elijah style.” said regular Dixon attendee Marvin Haddock. “I’ve never seen something so awe inspiring happen so close to me. Dr. Bowdle was awesome too. The chariot came before his presentation was over, so he politely asked it to wait in the parking lot until he was finished. Such a beast!”
The chariot, which was pulled by several angelic horses and burned with the fiery love of God, was described as ‘hard to look at directly’ by several attendees.
Dr. Bowdle, whose upcoming retirement is thought to have brought on the miraculous exit, was all calm before the ascent.
“When you’ve been at Lee as long as I have, there are some things you just come to expect,” said Bowdle. “The driver said we are picking up Robert O’Bannon and Louis Beach as soon as I’m buckled up.”
As for whether or not he feels bad about most students missing this rare occurrence he commented “That’s why you don’t skip chapel, kids.”
Of course there are some who see this event as a harbinger of something other than the exit of the longest served Lee professor.“It is definitely a sign of the apocalypse,” Said local apocalypse expert, Perry Stone. “There were four horses pulling that chariot, and you know how I feel about four horses showing up anywhere together. Boom! Apocalypse. Also, as far as I’m concerned, this is just the pre-rapture at hand. The professors taken by the chariot were really cream of the crop.”