Campus Choir to hire Chinese Acrobats

Campus' new acrobats riding to work

Campus Choir, one of Lee University’s largest and most energetic choirs, announced this weekend that they will have some new permanent additions to next fall’s performance lineup. To get the leg up on other choirs on campus, Campus Choir has decided to spice up their shows with exotic Chinese acrobats.

“These acrobats represent the best Campus Choir has to offer,” said choir historian Kelly Sage. “We are just trying to expand a growing part of the talent we showcase: radical styles of dance.”

The acrobats will perform alongside some of Campus’ popular dancing men, who often dance along with a rendition of ‘You are Worthy’. The new talent, however, will showcase a more nuanced approach to the relatively new practice of dancing to music.

“There will be fireworks and a giant Chinese dragon costume” said male member Gavin Bund. “Our new shows will be high concept, high energy, and highly exotic. It has been years since we spiced up our shows with crazy dancing. I just glad to be a part of the team that transitions from the old hat to the new. We are really going to show Lee Singers how to captivate a worshipful church audience!”

The Chinese acrobats, who hail from the inland city of Chongqing, are excited but cautious about the new opportunities that this might bring.

“The last time an American choir requested our assistance we were, pardon my Chinese, Shanghaied into performing in Pigeon Forge for two years,” said veteran acrobat Lindo Li. “We are just very protective of our acrobatic secrets.”

The acrobats will perform alongside the dancing men and a color guard in the ‘You are Worthy’ song, as well as several other songs to be chosen by the director. The acrobats will also be key in bridging cultural and language gaps in Campus’ upcoming summer tour in China.

A third C will somehow be added for the upcoming tour in China

“We are going to raise the roof!” said Campus Choir director Jimmy Phillips.

However, when asked about American exploitation of Chinese labor he gave a mean glare and walked out of the interview while making the Coco Chanel logo with his hands.

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