After a six-month investigation, Dean of Students Alan McClung has revealed a student-led plot to reside in Carroll Courts married housing.
According to the report, Frank Kelvin and Susanna Pietri, who have been “best-friends” since freshmen year, arranged a faux-marriage for the purpose of gaining admission to the pseudo-on-campus residency.
“I used to live in ‘The Palace’, and she lived in Sharp Hall,” Kelvin stated in an interview. “…but when we realized that with simple fake documentation we could live in Carroll Courts, how could we pass that up?!”
Tracey Carlson, director of Residential Life, was not surprised by the friends’ decisions.
“When it comes to housing, Carroll Courts is clearly the best Lee has to offer. We have always assumed that the reason so many students at Lee wed within there first three years,” Carlson said.
Carlson went on to defend her department’s action in clearing the couple for married housing.
“How were we supposed to know sophomore Lee University students were not actually married?” Carlson said. “I mean, really?”
According to the report, the couple was given two options. The first and “most desirable” option was to wed properly in the Lee University chapel and maintain their residency in Carroll Courts. The second was to be forced to live in Medlin and Simmons halls.
Close friends indicate that Kelvin and Pietri are “bummed” about not living in Carroll Courts. The sources also confirm that Pietri will miss “rugby games and intramural Frisbee” the most.