After one of the longest tenures of any undergraduate student you might think Tyrone Johnson had had enough of Lee University. But a recent series of events has pushed the administration at Lee University to rescind his hard earned diploma.
Tyrone, once affectionately known by the surname ‘from Baltimore’ has recently moved to the crescent city of New Orleans. It would normally be encouraged for Lee alumni to spread their wings and sow their seeds, but Johnson’s diploma, which read ‘Tyrone from Baltimore’ as his actual name, established a tacit binding agreement between the University and Johnson.
“He was supposed to be something of an ambassador for Lee in the greater Baltimore Metro area,” said vice president of enrollment Phil Cook. “We allowed him to work out in the gym after hours, and he agreed to live in Baltimore for the rest of his life as a symbol of Lee University. Changing his city of origin to New Orleans breaks the agreement.”
If ‘Tyrone from New Orleans’ really does not want to return to Lee, he will have to move back to Maryland within the next thirty days, as is noted on the fine print of his original diploma. Otherwise his senior year will be considered null and void.
“We usually make contracts with ‘flame-ous’ students to represent the university in some way after graduation,” said Dr. Conn in his standard twang. “Some choose to work for the university, some choose speak highly of us for a while, and some choose to legally change their name to a common, and might I say, clichéd inside joke.”
Johnson, who did not give an official comment on the issue, was irate at the whole situation.
“I have 18 ¼ inch arms, 24 inch quads, 50 inch shoulders, and a 42 inch chest….So BACK OFF!!!!!” he said in a recent Facebook status.
If and when he returns to Lee, he is expected to meet everyone on campus all over again.