Council of Revolutionary Endeavors to be renamed

The Council of Revolutionary Endeavors will soon become the Council of Peaceful Endeavors following complaints from several students that the current name is in bad taste.

“Joseph Kony is a revolutionary,” said one such student, Debra Kirk. “Revolutionaries are by definition treasonous, and revolutions are bloody affairs. I can’t believe there is a club on campus to support these activities.”

Freshman Carlton James also commented: “I showed up wearing my tricorn hat expecting to meet some fellow reenactors. I was severely disappointed to find a large group of hipster Christians planning their next documentary showing.”

The CORE released an official statement saying the name was not meant

Students peacefully revolt in trendily esoteric hats and scarves, symbols of their cause.

to be offensive, but that “students’ discomfort with the possible connotations is understandable.” It also explicitly stated that the group “does not support revolutions in any country at any time.”

The group consists of a coalition of social justice clubs: Invisible Children, World Vision ACT:S, International Justice Mission, and the TOMS shoes club. Their normal activities include raising awareness and funds for combating global social injustices, which are highly honorable and worthy pursuits.

Some members of the group, however, were opposed to the change.

“The current name really communicates the fact that we are changing the world by selling bumper stickers and not wearing shoes one day a year,” junior Alice Leeds said.

“Jesus did not come to bring peace but a sword!” added freshman D.J. Collins, holding his Starbucks cup aloft, before being shushed by friends standing by.

One longtime member of the CORE, Nicholas Hastings, tried to offer a balanced perspective on the name change.

“It’s true, we shouldn’t give the impression that we support treason. But we really meant it more like the Glorious Revolution or the Industrial Revolution.”

He reluctantly agreed that the new name would better reflect the true aims of the group, but added, “It’s just going to be hard to invite my friends to come to COPE. We’re not a support group; we try to assuage our white guilt through action.”

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