Horrifying Krystal consumption stuns Dorm Wars audience

Myers began his horrifying demonstration by shoving a dozen Krystal burgers into his mouth at once.

Dorm Wars 2012 was David Myers’ time to shine.

Myers enlisted in B.O.B.’s Dorm Wars team to “kill that Krystal eatin’ contest,” and kill it he did.

Myers consumed 107 Krystal burgers in the allotted minute.

“All was going great.  The crowd cheered was cheering for me and then they went silent in awe,” Myers said. ” The next thing all I heard was heaving.”

“It was really cool, for the first 20 seconds, and then it got strange,” said Snora sumo dancer Valerie Pickens, who likened watching Myers’ gorging to going through Lee University with none of your friends getting engaged.

Joshua Kildaire, a medlin-man who was eating burgers during Myers consumption, was not as kind.

Shortly following the display, Dr. Jayson VanHook and the office of Information Services released this graph of "Coolness to Krystal burgers consumed in one minute.

“It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.  Dave will probably have to start having lunch at “Snacks N’ Stacks” in the library,” Kildaire said.

Myers, who grew up just miles from Cleveland in Polk County, Tennessee, spent his youth earning Polk County-street cred by eating anything he was dared.

“There really ain’t nuttin else to do in Polk County, so I would eat all kinds of vermin that were put in fron’o’me,” Myers said in an interview with the Leek before the games began.  “That’s the only thing that made’em Krytals so tasty.”

Myers also attributed his success/shame to his “three squares at the Deacon.”

“I eat e’ry meal in the dinin’all. Myers said, adding, “Well, I used’a anyway,” following his grotesque display.

The Office of Information Services followed up with this graph quantifying coolness at Lee University.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s