Holy Spirit falls, seven injured

Students question the Holy Spirit after the incident.

During last night’s convocation altar call, an unusual series of events lead to the injury of several students. The Holy Spirit fell on a crowd of worshipping students and caused them mild scratches and bruises.

“It wasn’t totally unexpected,” said Convocation speaker Josh Rice. “We usually hope for the students to experience this type of gift. It just didn’t turn out the way we had hoped.”

The seven most injured students were taken to Skyridge medical center for further observation. Each of them were reported to have been blessed with a huge dove shaped bruise on their foreheads.

“This isn’t the first time this campus has had a falling of the Holy Spirit,” President Conn said. “A while back we had a campus revival that started right here in the Conn center, though, admittedly, the Holy Spirit was far gentler.”

The Holy Spirit, who was in the area for the Church of God General Assembly this summer, was polite and apologetic about the event.

“I thought I would stop by and see how things were going here at Lee,” said the Holy Spirit, who was difficult to look at directly. “I stopped at Subway to get my meatball on and when I left I must have slipped on a banana pepper or something. Next thing I know I’m in that crowd of worshipers, knocking people over right and left.”

The Holy Spirit descends upon a muscley shirtless man

 

None of the students are pressing charges against the Holy Spirit, and some were grateful for the experience.

“I was skeptical of spiritual gifts of the spirit before I came to convocation,” sophomore theatre major Reah Garmone said. “If I had known that physical injury, a literal ‘touch’, was possible, I would have been less selective about the altar calls that I prayed in.”

The altar call was quickly dispersed after the incident but plans to reconvene again this evening. The Holy Spirit is currently at Skyridge healing the various injuries of his/her victims.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Holy Spirit falls, seven injured

  1. Anonymous

    I wondered where the SNL writers ended up working after their recent release.

  2. The Yellow Dart

    Hahaha. I loved it.

  3. Anonymous

    I don’t care who you are, this is funny. If the church condemns humor like this, then it deserves the negative reputation it has in our culture.

  4. Anonymous

    This no doubt happened at the precise moment that Campus Choir hit a key change.

  5. Anonymous

    Hahahaha. Gotta love the Campus Choir jokes……

  6. Anonymous

    “This no doubt happened at the precise moment that Campus Choir hit a key change.” …. Yeah it’s funny how the spirit moves in Pentecostal churches.

  7. Anna Katherine

    Love this! Not just for Lee students & alumni… Funny for anyone.

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