Lady Flames take Nobel Peace Prize

After receiving the news, the Lady Flames took to their traditional championship photo.

The Lady Flames are at it again.  After dominating on the soccer pitch for four years, the Lady Flames have brought new glory to Lee University by receiving the international Nobel Peace Prize.

The ladies met with the King of Norway and received the award from the Chairman of the Norwegian Nobel Committee Saturday, Feb. 4, 2012.

Thorbjørn Jagland, the current chairman, explained why the prize, which is intended for those who “done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses” and always awarded on the Dec. 10 was given, was given at the beginning of February.

“After compiling the list of next years candidates it was clear that the Lady Flames of Lee University were hands down the favorites,” Jagland said.  “As some of the key parts of this unit, Jamie Achten for instance, are about to be done with schooling, we wanted the four time national championship team to all receive the award together.”

Achten, for one is not surprised by the announcement that the team had won the most prestigious award in the world.

“‘Winning.  It’s what we do.  When these girls put our mind to something nothing can stop us.’  Freshman and sophomore year, that was just the nice sounding thing I said, but after winning not one, two or three, but four national championships, I really do believe there is nothing on earth the Lady Flames soccer team can’t do,” Achten said.

Jamie Achten has been practicing walking on water ever since her second national championship.

Reports indicate that Achten, the most decorated Lee University athlete of all time, is preparing to run on water in March and work on her super power of flying later this summing.

As word of the impending award got out, people fell into line to praise the Lady Flames, but perhaps the most exciting for the team was a letter from the White House and the President of the United States Barack Obama.

“We were really glad to see that Obama was taking an interest in what our girls have been doing here,” head coach Matt Yelton said. “The letter went on for two pages praising all the team had done and attempting to enlist our entire defensive line saying that it would be ‘the only security the United States would ever need.'”

A leaked copy of the letter includes the very transparent sentence, “I am glad you all received this prize.  You certainly have done more than I had when I got mine.”

Other people in the running for this years Nobel prize were Ed Flannigan who cured pneumonia and an alien named Kal-El (whoever that is).

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