Kingdom Players wins Sigma’s Gong Show

Sigma reportedly "borrowed" their gong from Ghengis Grill.

Kingdom Players won the respect of the judges and the title of victor tonight at Sigma Nu Sigma’s Gong Show after performing a few selections from their signature repertoire of short dramatic pieces.

“Their last piece was the best Christian skit I’ve seen in years,” one of the judges said. “I repented of sins I didn’t know I had and re-committed my life to the Lord.”

Kingdom Players had been the underdog on the program going into the show, but the formerly rowdy audience sat, mesmerized, for the entirety of their performances.

“I came to cheer for my girlfriend who just got tapped for DZT, and planned to boo for every other performance,” sophomore Robert White said. “But KP came out on stage and just killed. I laughed and I cried before I even remembered that Kelly was probably really pissed at me now.”

Students reported that after the lights went down on the final pose in the group’s interpretive dance, the audience sat in stunned silence before giving Kingdom Players a three-minute standing ovation. Shouts of “Encore!” then brought the group back out for an additional performance, an opportunity they used to perform a skit about the dangers of addiction.

Two other performers, a singer-songwriter with a ukulele and a freshman claiming to be a Paul Conn impersonator, refused to go onstage after the actors’ spectacular showing.

Every member of Kingdom Players was inducted into Sigma Nu Sigma on the spot, having finally attained an appropriate level of popularity to wear a blue jersey. Meanwhile, several pledges who had performed with their various Greek clubs dropped out of their taps immediately.

“I spent the past few weeks practicing a dance to a Garth Brooks song,” said Michael Ankerich, who officially left Pi Kappa Pi.

“Meanwhile, these people were perfecting their art. I mean, what am I doing with my life?”

The group credits the win to their director, Dr. Jay Critz, and their eye-catching pastel polo shirts.

“Those shirts really grab your attention from the very beginning of the performance,” longtime member Jordan Barnes said.

“And they send a message to the audience: this is a cohesive group that takes its art – and Jesus – seriously. I think we proved that tonight.”


1 Comment

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One response to “Kingdom Players wins Sigma’s Gong Show

  1. Love it!! (former alumni of Kingdom Players)

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