After much planning and debate, the 25th anniversary legacy project for the Greek Club known as Theta (also pronounced “Oak”) has finally been announced. Though full plans are being kept hidden, an anonymous member of the service club (also pronounced “fraternity”) was able to give us a description.
“We plan on paving over the empty space in Alumni park and building a large pyramid,” the member said.
The pyramid will be approximately 482 feet high in order to surpass the height of the Great Pyramid at Giza.
“We decided that Theta deserved the recognition that Alpha Gamma Chi, Upsilon, and the Ancient Egyptians have been getting for years,” the member continued.
Of course Alumni Park is a popular hangout for students who like laying in grass, reading in hammocks, and stepping in puddles so this would come as a great loss to this wing of the student body. Theta, however has prepared for this scenario.
“Oh no, the pyramid won’t be empty” said another member who only wished to be known as Kel loves Orange Soda. “We plan on adding a roller coaster and a malt shop to the interior of the pyramid,” Orange Soda said. He also mentioned future expansion plans for an egg throwing amphitheatre and a girl’s locker room.
Theta chose the pyramid idea after a year of searching for appropriate legacy projects. Other projects considered were the highly popular ‘Gates’ idea, which resembled the famous Ishtar gate of Babylon and was to be located at the 20th and Parker entrance to campus , and the controversial ‘Burrito initiative’, which would have placed a Taco Bell in every building on campus.
“We are still considering these ideas for the 50th and 75th anniversary of Theta,” Orange Soda said.
Groundbreaking for the Pyramid project will commence sometime next fall. All usual Alumni Park activities will be asked to move outside the pyramid zone at that point.