Breaking: “Harris III to make Hughes Hall reappear for grand finale”

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An artistic rendering of what Old Hughes Hall will look like in front of the Science and Math Complex, as its cavemen residents build a fire in the front lawn.

A recent leak of the performance schedule of Harris III by one of his staff members indicates that the grand finale of his performance at U-Church will be to make Hughes Hall reappear. Reports indicate that the finale was decided by an undisclosed donation to the artist by a former Hughes alumnus.

The illusionist will be performing at the Lee University Conn Center Sunday night, Jan. 29, 2012.

Tracey Carlson, director of Residential Life and Housing, was not pleased as word of this final act made its to her desk.

“I just don’t like it. We tore down that building for a reason. We not only crushed its bricks; we crushed the spirits of hundreds of alumni and current students whose Lee identity was established based on that travesty of a dorm,” Carlson said.

Carlson did however admit that it finally gave meaning to the name of “New Hughes Hall.”

“To be honest, I didn’t even know why we put the “new” in front of that building,” Carlson said. “I guess we got lucky.”

For the former residents of Hughes Hall, this announcement came as a blessing from on high.

“I don’t know which alumni is lining Harris III’s pocket book, but I am sure glad someone is,” Jason Jinkins, a senior who has reportedly “hated every moment of his existence in B.O.B. since Hughes was torn down,” said.

The administration has formed an exploratory committee to determine how this change will affect Dorm Wars, the Residential Life Areas, and total student enrollment.

Harris III did not respond by the time of publication.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Breaking: “Harris III to make Hughes Hall reappear for grand finale”

  1. Hahaha I don’t know how you knew it but Tracey Carlson really did hate Hughes, especially from 2002 until the end. You guys are freaking hilarious!

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